Child Custody Evaluations in North Carolina: A Double-Edged Sword By Amy A. Edwards The vast majority of child custody cases are settled out of court. Parents or custodians sometimes negotiate on their own with attorneys to reach an agreement. Another way an agreement in custody case can be resolved is by mandatory custody mediation where a neutral mediator and both parents meet in an effort to create an agreed-upon custody order. The cases that fall outside of the vast majority and are litigated in court are the ones that are most complex. For example, it is difficult to “split the baby” when parents live in different parts of the country and both want to have primary custody. That usually means that one parent will have most of the school year with the child or children, and the other will have most of the summer vacation. These are the types of cases in which parents often consider having a child custody evaluation performed. What is a Child Custody Evaluation? Performed by a psychologist, a CCE results in a written report that is provided to the court. The psychologist evaluator will then testify as an expert witness at the child custody trial. The exact details vary depending on what the expert is appointed by the court to do. But the evaluator usually administers psychological testing, such a personality test called the MMPI-2, for each parent or guardian. The test results identify the strengths and weaknesses of each parent. The evaluator typically reviews the medical and mental health records of the family members, meets with the family members separately and together to interview and observe them, and contacts third parties such as teachers or third parties who reside in the home. The evaluator might even do a home visit to each parent’s residence. Based on all of this, the CCE report will make recommendations about what is in the best interest of the child or children. What Does the CCE include? The CCE report will usually give the judge insight on what the child actually needs, as well as explain each parent’s parenting styles. To over-simplify it in an example, if a child suffers from anxiety, he or she might need a very structured routine and one parent might be more decisive than the other. There is usually a list of these sorts of conclusions, followed by recommendations, which almost always include...
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What if My Spouse Won’t Give Me a Divorce? By Amy A. Edwards On a regular basis, I hear people talking about a friend or someone they know who is stuck in a bad marriage but they can’t do much about it because his wife (or her husband) won’t give that person a divorce. In North Carolina, that is not how it works. Separation and Divorce In our State, if someone wants a divorce, the law requires a separation of at least 12 months. For that requirement, all the law requires is that a husband and wife live in separate residences and at least one spouse (not both) must intend for the separation to be permanent. The law often refers to this as a permanent separation. Otherwise, simply living apart without at least one spouse intending to permanently separate would include happily married people who simply live separately for long periods of time, such as military spouses. No agreement to separate is necessary. North Carolina doesn’t require any paperwork or consent for someone to be separated. If a spouse is unhappy in the marriage, he or she can simply leave at any time although there are a number of reasons doing so without legal advice can be a bad idea. For example, a spouse who leaves the residence risks committing abandonment, which is marital fault in alimony cases. It can also create a messy dispute over how often each parent sees the children unless there is an agreement before the separation. But technically, no one is prohibited from leaving the home. Signing Paperwork Another reason people think that a spouse won’t give him or her a divorce is because they need the other person to sign something. That is also not the case in North Carolina. One type of routine paperwork people often sign is more for convenience than consent. When a lawsuit (also known as a claim) for a divorce is filed, the other person must be “served” with a copy of it and a summons. Rather than having a sheriff serve someone by handing the paperwork to him or her, that person can choose to sign an “acceptance of service” instead. If the spouse does not sign the acceptance of service, it just means that the sheriff will serve the spouse by handing him or her a copy of that paperwork instead. But the spouse doesn’t have...
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Hanging on a Dream: One Woman’s Story of Adoption By Diane Gray The dinner table congers up so many memories of my childhood. It was the place my family would all be together to talk about the events of the day, laugh and share stories as we ate our meals. While sitting at the table, I would often look at my mom, dad and adoptive sister and think that I didn’t really look like any of them. I knew I was adopted but there was this nagging feeling that I was missing something, I was lost and I would feel sad for reasons I never understood. In my teen years I would still get these uneasy feelings of sadness. I would ask my mom about my adoption but she would never give me any information no matter how hard I would press her for answers. I was desperate to find out. It was important for me to know who I am, where do I come from and who do I look like. As a teenager, I didn’t have the resources or knowledge to even begin to know how to get the answers I was looking for. It was during these years that I would dream about a big family and that I had several siblings. This dream never went away and stayed with me until the age of 63. I’m going to let you in on a few issues facing adoptees. First, often times we may have overwhelming feelings of loss and grief but we don’t know what that loss and grief really is. These feelings can often lead to a loss of self-esteem. Why was I given up? What is wrong with me? Was I just not good enough? I was still hanging on a dream of a big family. The second issue is guilt which can also be connected with loss and grief. Typically, adoptees don’t want to be disloyal to their adoptive parents. These are the very parents that loved them and raised them. These feelings of guilt often occur when an adoptee may decide to search for their biological mother and father. The search for their self-identity is especially difficult for teenagers. They have no genetic information which may lead to a genetic gap. I was still hanging on a dream of a big family. Relinquishment which is the “politically correct” reference to a birth...
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On the Front Lines: Parenting Coordinators in Child Custody Cases By Amy A. Edwards Most people know a judge can make rulings in custody cases, but did you know that in North Carolina, a Parenting Coordinator (PC) can too? Our state requires them to have a masters or doctorate degree in psychology, law, social work, or counseling, and must have specialized training in topics related to the developmental stages of children, the dynamics of high-conflict families, the stages and effects of divorce, problem solving techniques, mediation, and legal issues. There are other eligibility requirements. What Do Parenting Coordinators Do? Courts always maintain the exclusive right to determine fundamental issues of custody and visitation, and to determine the way the case will proceed. Courts appoint PCs to make decisions that help the parties comply with custody orders, resolve disputes about issues that might not specifically included in the orders, orders that are ambiguous or orders that have conflicting terms. Although PCs can’t change custody orders, they can supplement or implement them with their own written orders. How Do You Get a Parenting Coordinator? The judge must decide that appointing a PC is in the best interest of the child, that the parents can afford to pay the fee charged by the PC and that their case is a high-conflict case. The law defines high-conflict case as one with an ongoing pattern of any of these: Excessive litigation, anger and distrust, verbal abuse, physical aggression or threats of it, difficulty communicating about and cooperating in the care of the child. Usually the court requires a meeting called an appointment conference. At that meeting the judge will enter an appointment order, which must say how the PC will handle matters, how his or her fees will be paid, and list the specific issues that the PC is authorized to handle. The judge must also explain the PC’s role, authority, and responsibilities that are in the appointment order. The rules regarding communications among the parties, the court, the attorneys and the PC must also be explained. What Issues Can Parenting Coordinators Address? When a judge appoints a PC, he or she can give the PC very limited authority or very broad authority, depending on the circumstances. The 2019 revisions to the law authorize a judge to appoint a PC who can specifically address: alterations to a child’s appearance, including tattoos or piercings, transition...
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Grey Divorce: Issues For Older Spouses By Amy A. Edwards Middle-aged and older spouses have the same issues as other couples when they separate and divorce, although they are viewing them from the other direction. They don’t usually have any minor children but they often have substantial assets. People in second or third marriages are more likely to have premarital agreements or “prenups” that dictate what must be done about property and alimony if the couple splits. Another likely scenario of those with silver hair and more than one marriage under their belts is tracing property. In our state, tracing is used to decide what share of an asset is separate property, and what share, if any, is marital property. This is expensive and time-consuming especially when addressing real estate, investment and retirement accounts. Therefore, this article assumes all assets are marital property and that there is no premarital agreement. Alimony & Expenses North Carolina courts must consider the incomes and reasonable expenses of both spouses in alimony cases. Spouses who are nearing age 65 are facing Medicare and “doughnut hole” insurance instead of private insurance. Medicare could make things better or worse financially when compared with the health, vision and dental insurance offered by a spouse’s employer and whether the employer paid at least part of the premiums. Settlements and court orders for people nearing 65 typically take this into account, changing the amount of support once one or both spouses have Medicare coverage. Older spouses routinely lose loved ones and inherit property. While inheritances are usually considered separate property, assets such as rental property or investments are considered income for purposes of alimony. Alimony: When Should You Retire? When alimony is looming, parties may bicker about the reasonable age that the breadwinner or the financially dependent spouse should retire. Although it is extremely rare, I’ve actually had a case in which the judge ruled that the breadwinner couldn’t afford to retire at a certain age. Of course, he was legally free to retire any time but his alimony was still ordered based on the same income he had from his employment. Judges consider a number of things when deciding if someone should be able to retire for purposes of determining income for an alimony case, including age, health, work history and whether the spouse is genuinely ready to retire or just saying that for court. Parties might...
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Do You Have to Force Your Child to go for Visitation? By Amy A. Edwards The courts assume it is almost always in a child’s best interest to spend time with both parents, even if a child isn’t getting along with a parent. If there is no agreement, a parent can file a custody case and reach an agreement in custody mediation, or have the judge enter an order that will include a visitation schedule. This article applies to cases in which parents have a child custody order. Cases that involve violence, substance abuse or serious dangers to children are outside of the scope of this article. Enforcing Visitation Orders: Contempt If the parent believes the other parent is willfully violating the order, he or she can file a motion to hold the other parent in civil or criminal contempt of court. Depending on circumstances, a judge has the authority to impose fines, make the other parent pay attorney’s fees, or in drastic cases, incarcerate the parent. The key is whether the parent is intentionally violating the order, which requires an answer to the question of what is reasonable for a parent to do in those circumstances. What is Willful Violation of the Order? Judges decide whether parents intentionally violate orders on a case-by-case basis. In assessing the problem, consider whether there is a different reason for the friction. In the midst of a divorce or breakup between parents, a child might become estranged with a parent that he or she perceives did something bad. Sometimes, children play one parent against the other, taking advantage of the difficulty parents have in trying to co-parent. Parents who use the child to communicate between them not only put their child in the middle; they inadvertently set themselves up for this tactic. A parent’s willful violation of an order is almost always shown by a pattern of behavior. A few examples include failing to have a child packed and ready for visitation, not bringing a child back to the other parent as scheduled, intentionally scheduling other events during the other parent’s visitation, or “canceling” visits and making no effort to schedule make-up the time. Most orders require that neither party speak badly about the other parent in front of the child. Discouraging the child from going with the other parent by doing that is also a willful violation. What Are the Parent’s...
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